What do you consider to be a friend? How deeply do you regard friendship with others? Is it your primary focus in life? Do you rely on it for your identity or does it not really matter much to you? Whatever significance it has in your life, I think the trick is to find another who feels the same so you can mesh in life... it's a very touchy subject. Everyone has their own idea of what it is and how you should behave as their friend, and when another doesn't respond in the way that is ideal friendship to that person... THAT is when drama tends to unfold.
I am a very friendly person. But truth be told, I have various dimensions of friendship with others- I do not desire to be best friends with everyone, but I do enjoy knowing a variety of people and personalities- God made this wonderful array of people and I am interested in their stories, where they have come from, where they are now, and where they desire to go.
I also find it amazing who God calls me to be friends with... and even moreso who he calls me to be intimate friends with... a friendship that involves sharing stories and life together, equally supportive (sometimes giving, sometimes receiving) of one another, and believing in eachother's integrity. Often it is someone who ruffles my feathers... pushes my buttons... or simply isn't a replica of me (thankfully!). But how boring would this world be with millions of me's? It's an enjoyable thing to take a step outside of myself and learn about God through the lives of others and their experiences.
So as I pray today, I will be thankful for God's design... his design of relationships with others, his individual calling on our lives, and his marvelous design of each individual person. Ordinary people with amazing purpose.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, December 17, 2010
Christmas is for...
I have always loved Christmas... as far back as I can remember, I was the one in the family that wrapped all the gifts (except my own) :) (NOTE: after a conversation with my mother this evening, it seems my memory is not what was reality) I enjoyed baking, carolling, acting, dressing up, hot cider, pumpkin pie, sweaters, boots, parties, Christmas cards in the mail, thick winter coats, giving to others, crafts, the hope of snow (in the Pacific NW snow isn't always inevitible), movies and cartoons with Christmas themes, candlelight services, hymns, nativities, hunting for the perfect LIVE tree and decorations, Rudolph, and EVERYTHING related to Christmas.
As time has gone on, becoming an adult and a parent, Christmas has remained special in my heart (the true meaning of Christmas, being the celebration of Christ's birth and giving to others as God gives to us), but I've found it difficult to battle our societies materialism and busy-ness. In light of this, I have been challenging myself this year: GIVE MORE, SPEND LE$$.
Here are some of the things I have changed and focused on more than in past years.
As time has gone on, becoming an adult and a parent, Christmas has remained special in my heart (the true meaning of Christmas, being the celebration of Christ's birth and giving to others as God gives to us), but I've found it difficult to battle our societies materialism and busy-ness. In light of this, I have been challenging myself this year: GIVE MORE, SPEND LE$$.
Here are some of the things I have changed and focused on more than in past years.
- I'm giving out MORE Christmas cards- it seems that we are receiving fewer and fewer cards in the mail each year, which saddens me. I have resolved to send out more instead of cut back. They bring joy to my life, so I think they must bring joy to others.
- We eat the gingerbread house! In the past it was for display, as if it were some sort of Christmas trophy... which made my children sad. Why not eat it and enjoy each little gumdrop?
- We drive around and take walks numerous times a week to see Christmas lights.
- Knock on neighbor's doors to say Merry Christmas!
- Volunteer to gift wrap in a department store (this is being organized by our Pastoral Intern- great way to love others!)
- My daughter and I baked and frosted cut out cookies together... this may seem like a normality, but in the past I never made the time to do this with my children :( It's messy and time consuming- but what is a kitchen for and who am I wanting to spend most of my time with? Baking and my children... and sharing memories.
- Each day my little girl do something to celebrate Jesus' birthday month... color a nativity picture, sing Happy Birthday, make snowflakes, read a Christmas story book... just to name a few.
- No packages under the tree until Christmas morning... what a controversy, huh? We have fewer gifts this year and in an effort to minimize the materialism and greed, we are making Christmas morning a BIG surprise!
- Celebrating Saint Nicholas and who he really was- an amazing Christian man who was a great example of giving, rather than the magical mysterious Santa Claus.
- My son and I hunted and conquered the perfect little Christmas tree from a local tree farm. We had breakfast afterward and made memories that we will cherish.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
...the wrong era
There was a windstorm last night. A windstorm that caused a power outage in our little town (and apparently across the region). This power outage got me thinking about something I mull over from time to time.
I think about our society and the things that are a continuous internal battle for me. Sometimes I wonder if I was born in the wrong era (I know this is truly not the case and trust that God put me in the right place at the right time, but I still think about these things). Here are a few thoughts-
I struggle with the concept of needing a gym, a nutritionist, and vitamins in order to be a healthy person. I also struggle with the fact that we are always trying to figure out how to connect with others, yet when invited to join in fellowship we can't even find the time to give a proper RSVP or commit to attending when someone else is expecting and anticipating your presence. It also feels as though our modern conveniences give us more feelings of angst than ease.
In past centuries, people worked the land. This was their job and way of providing food for themselves and their families. There were no overweight people because they walked where they needed to go, they were required to get up off their butts to do their jobs and ate food picked fresh and full of nutrients... now we sit to do our work and eat preserved processed foods, some from far off lands butchered from who knows who and others picked way before it's prime, ripened on a truck or ship.
In past centuries, people tended to the fact that we were made to fellowship with others. Townfolk knew eachother intimately and knew the needs at hand. People sat on front porches sipping lemonade and iced tea. And when invited to a friend's home, they came because they knew it was important to connect. People danced- everyone knew how to dance! Another reason there wasn't a 'battle of the bulge'.
In past centuries, there were no microwaves buzzing and dinging. There were no airplanes, cars and busses causing noise and air pollution. There were no background sounds constantly distracting us from peaceful moments. People used to write letters and poetry, they painted and played the piano. Children climbed trees, used their imagination and watched clouds. There were times of silence and we were comfortable with that. Now people are 'bored' if they're not being entertained or 'doing' something. No one can just 'be'. We must 'do' in order to be of any value.
When I arrived home last night during the windstorm, my home was silent and glimmered with candlelight. I enjoyed the moment so much, I cuddled my daughter in the darkness and noticed how beautiful her hair was glistening in the light of the flames. I also hugged my husband a little longer than usual since we stood in the kitchen undistracted by anything else. We went to bed EARLY. I wished it could have lasted for days... the peace. The simplicity. The beauty of silence. My love of a power outage.
I think about our society and the things that are a continuous internal battle for me. Sometimes I wonder if I was born in the wrong era (I know this is truly not the case and trust that God put me in the right place at the right time, but I still think about these things). Here are a few thoughts-
I struggle with the concept of needing a gym, a nutritionist, and vitamins in order to be a healthy person. I also struggle with the fact that we are always trying to figure out how to connect with others, yet when invited to join in fellowship we can't even find the time to give a proper RSVP or commit to attending when someone else is expecting and anticipating your presence. It also feels as though our modern conveniences give us more feelings of angst than ease.
In past centuries, people worked the land. This was their job and way of providing food for themselves and their families. There were no overweight people because they walked where they needed to go, they were required to get up off their butts to do their jobs and ate food picked fresh and full of nutrients... now we sit to do our work and eat preserved processed foods, some from far off lands butchered from who knows who and others picked way before it's prime, ripened on a truck or ship.
In past centuries, people tended to the fact that we were made to fellowship with others. Townfolk knew eachother intimately and knew the needs at hand. People sat on front porches sipping lemonade and iced tea. And when invited to a friend's home, they came because they knew it was important to connect. People danced- everyone knew how to dance! Another reason there wasn't a 'battle of the bulge'.
In past centuries, there were no microwaves buzzing and dinging. There were no airplanes, cars and busses causing noise and air pollution. There were no background sounds constantly distracting us from peaceful moments. People used to write letters and poetry, they painted and played the piano. Children climbed trees, used their imagination and watched clouds. There were times of silence and we were comfortable with that. Now people are 'bored' if they're not being entertained or 'doing' something. No one can just 'be'. We must 'do' in order to be of any value.
When I arrived home last night during the windstorm, my home was silent and glimmered with candlelight. I enjoyed the moment so much, I cuddled my daughter in the darkness and noticed how beautiful her hair was glistening in the light of the flames. I also hugged my husband a little longer than usual since we stood in the kitchen undistracted by anything else. We went to bed EARLY. I wished it could have lasted for days... the peace. The simplicity. The beauty of silence. My love of a power outage.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
...no monetary value
Since my full time job has no timeclock, no sick pay or paid vacation, not much glory, not enough pats on the back, and no apparent monetary value... not to mention I'm not earning 401k, pension, social security, disability or healthcare... I thought I'd do a little research that you might find interesting or atleast somewhat entertaining. Or you may be thinking, "Really? This is how she spends her time? Phshaw." Either way, I am on a little mission to find out how much a modern day American mother would technically be paid for all her duties, according to http://www.salary.com/ . (keep in mind I took the low end salary with an Associates Degree as my education, of which I do not have- but exceed that in experience value)
- $33,600- Administrative Assistant
- $57,200- Home Healthcare Aide
- $54,000- Project Manager
- $35,000- Nanny
- $46,000- Academic Advisor
- $37,000- Taxi Driver
- $36,000- Youth Councelor
- $23,000- Housekeeper
- $47,000- Party Planner
- $68,000- Travel Agent
- $39,000- Personal Cook
Monday, November 1, 2010
... family standards
Each family is vastly different... and while I'm not here to tell you that I'm an expert at how every family should do their thing, I can tell you that many people have asked me how I 'do it all'. And I can tell you the truth- I DON'T. We do it together.
Here are some of the things that are standard in our home. I call them 'standards' rather than 'rules' because there's always room for modifications and they aren't followed as a religion or checklist of musts, but as 'something we usually do'. I share these with you since I have noticed over the past few years that they may be what sets us apart from most.
Be blessed-
Here are some of the things that are standard in our home. I call them 'standards' rather than 'rules' because there's always room for modifications and they aren't followed as a religion or checklist of musts, but as 'something we usually do'. I share these with you since I have noticed over the past few years that they may be what sets us apart from most.
- We nap. Sleep is #1 priority in our home- when we're well rested, we get along better and 'do life' better together.
- We have dinner together every evening with the tv off (although we're known to watch Wheel of Fortune together if we're eating at 7pm).
- Our family participates in the bedtime routine for our little ones- Mommy & Daddy dress them in pajamas, Mommy brushes teeth, someone reads a story, everyone gives hugs & kisses. My big ones are very connected and caring to the little ones even though there is a 9 year age span between the two batches.
- We have an 'in your room' time for the big ones every night. This allows Mom & Dad to regroup after the day's happenings and chill out together.
- The children take care of their 'family responsibilities'. These are things that need to be done in order for our family to run somewhat smoothly. We do not pay them for these tasks, just as they do not pay me to grocery shop or keep the bills paid.
- Our big ones are responsible for getting themselves ready for the day. From setting their alarm to allow adequate time for morning routines to fixing their breakfast, preparing their own lunch, and getting to their destination on time. They have done this since they were 8 and 10 years old.
- Our children are involved in only one extra curricular activity at any given time, outside of church functions and school. They are not overscheduled and I am not overtaxed by trying to keep up with them.
- As long as I can remember, we have had one scheduled day off per week to be a family. It is typically Sunday. We'll usually go to church that day, sometimes go out to lunch or come home and nap. Relaxing stuff that helps us recharge our batteries. The only thing that is ever scheduled on this day are church functions.
Be blessed-
Saturday, October 23, 2010
...memorable summer
This past summer I strived to make things more 'fun', 'eventful', and 'memorable' for my children. My boys are teenagers, you see... and I view each day as an opportunity for memory making. I feel that my time with them is coming to an end (as if when they turn 18 I'm not going to have the chance make any more memories). It's silly, I know... but this was my focus of the season the beginning of summer, and I was wanting to make the most of the time that we have together as a family of six.
We went to California to visit family for my grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary celebration. We went to Pacific City, OR for a family reunion, took a trip one Saturday to the Bite of Seattle, and rented a cabin on Camano Island for a weekend getaway, among various local activities and events. I FELT ACCOMPLISHED.
Once fall was approaching, I took a moment with my boys, and asked them how they felt about the summer and all the 'fun' we had. I was excited about their response and was somewhat hoping for lots of reminiscing on how this was the best summer EVER! and thought maybe I would get a little kudo or two. Their response was unexpected, "It was tooo BUSY!"
UGH. I suddenly realized that I was the mom I never wanted to be. The mom who overschedules her children.
I now realize that I had succumbed to society's idea of what should be done within a summertime- families should go on vacation. Families should site see. Families should spend LOTS of money in one day at an adventure park, and families must support their local major league sports teams by cheering them on from the stands and buying $5 hotdogs. Mothers should have something exciting to say to other mothers when asked "What did you 'do' this summer?" Shouldn't they?
So I'm going back to my old way of doing things... letting kids be kids... hanging out with friends, going on walks, playing games, eating dinner outside, riding bikes to 7-11 for slurpies, rolling in the grass, wiffle ball tournaments and movie nights. I used to do these things because I'm cheap and most of them are free... but now I realize the true value of them.
Thank you, boys, for being honest with me and not saying what you thought I wanted to hear.
We went to California to visit family for my grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary celebration. We went to Pacific City, OR for a family reunion, took a trip one Saturday to the Bite of Seattle, and rented a cabin on Camano Island for a weekend getaway, among various local activities and events. I FELT ACCOMPLISHED.
Once fall was approaching, I took a moment with my boys, and asked them how they felt about the summer and all the 'fun' we had. I was excited about their response and was somewhat hoping for lots of reminiscing on how this was the best summer EVER! and thought maybe I would get a little kudo or two. Their response was unexpected, "It was tooo BUSY!"
UGH. I suddenly realized that I was the mom I never wanted to be. The mom who overschedules her children.
I now realize that I had succumbed to society's idea of what should be done within a summertime- families should go on vacation. Families should site see. Families should spend LOTS of money in one day at an adventure park, and families must support their local major league sports teams by cheering them on from the stands and buying $5 hotdogs. Mothers should have something exciting to say to other mothers when asked "What did you 'do' this summer?" Shouldn't they?
So I'm going back to my old way of doing things... letting kids be kids... hanging out with friends, going on walks, playing games, eating dinner outside, riding bikes to 7-11 for slurpies, rolling in the grass, wiffle ball tournaments and movie nights. I used to do these things because I'm cheap and most of them are free... but now I realize the true value of them.
Thank you, boys, for being honest with me and not saying what you thought I wanted to hear.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
...time
Time. It's quite an overwhelming concept when truly pondered. Even more so when you look it up: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/time It's the only thing you can spend and never get back. It's what American's claim to never have enough of. I've heard many say time is money. 'They' say it's of the essence, heals all wounds, and flies when you're having fun. People kill it, keep it, mark it and make it.
The phrase I have had the hardest time with is "I don't have time." I can't help but think to myself "Really? You don't HAVE time?" Aren't we all granted the same 24 hour segment of each day? Is it possible that everyone is actually saying that they haven't come to the point in life that they want to exercise their right to say 'no' to activities that absorb their time in an unimportant or ineffective way? Or maybe they haven't hit rock bottom of being so overwhelmed that life comes to a screeeeeeching halt, then requiring a major 'time management' overhaul.
I have struggled with the feeling of being absorbed with life... spinning out of control. I am continually telling myself: it is okay to put priorities on things. It is okay to admit "I just haven't made time to complete that task (rather than "I haven't had time")". It is ok to say "no" when asked to do something that would take precious time away from things that are of more importance to me, and it is okay to realize that I let other things get in the way sometimes.
God has given me the gift of time... I pray that I spend it in a way that is pleasing to Him and respectful of the gift.
The phrase I have had the hardest time with is "I don't have time." I can't help but think to myself "Really? You don't HAVE time?" Aren't we all granted the same 24 hour segment of each day? Is it possible that everyone is actually saying that they haven't come to the point in life that they want to exercise their right to say 'no' to activities that absorb their time in an unimportant or ineffective way? Or maybe they haven't hit rock bottom of being so overwhelmed that life comes to a screeeeeeching halt, then requiring a major 'time management' overhaul.
I have struggled with the feeling of being absorbed with life... spinning out of control. I am continually telling myself: it is okay to put priorities on things. It is okay to admit "I just haven't made time to complete that task (rather than "I haven't had time")". It is ok to say "no" when asked to do something that would take precious time away from things that are of more importance to me, and it is okay to realize that I let other things get in the way sometimes.
God has given me the gift of time... I pray that I spend it in a way that is pleasing to Him and respectful of the gift.
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